


Today Is Onward

by CaptainTarthister



Series: Off Camera with Nik and Gwen [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, RPF, Smut, Some angst, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 08:53:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainTarthister/pseuds/CaptainTarthister
Summary: A month after Gwendoline Christie and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau admit their feelings to each other, they couple discuss their next move.Sequel to More Than A Night.





	Today Is Onward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SeleneU](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeleneU/gifts).



> Again, another RPF! Requested by SeleneU :-) 
> 
> ALRIGHT. I know some factions of the fandom despise RPFs. That's why they're tagged like that. You don't like that I'm writing about real people, move along. Get yourself a good bottle of wine, and none of the cheap kind from the supermarket. Go to an actual wine shop. 
> 
> To others, enjoy! And thanks for reading.

Today Is Onward

_Steam rose from the bath. Their languid ascent reminded her of ghosts, reduced to mysterious, menacing mists still clinging to the false belief of a life. Brienne, refusing the grip of fear, resolutely focused on scrubbings weeks’ worth of grime and dirt from her skin. The warm water softened some of the bits but the rest clung, mapping on freckles and bruises her journey with the Kingslayer. As her legs moved in the water, she remembered the cut he had slashed through her breeches, into her thighs. Anger at their fight, at the hateful Kingslayer, blurred her from pain. It was only because a Bolton soldier had loudly announced the blood dripping down her leg, a cruel, rapacious smile on his face, that she first discovered it._

_From there, she saw a glimpse of the kind of animals men could be. Openly talking about fucking her, whether she wanted to or not. How she was uglier than a sow but with an untouched, tight cunt. They wanted any woman, just as long as they could keep her legs spread, muffle her screams before cutting her throat and leaving her on the dirt drowning in their seed and her blood. . ._

Gwendoline shifted uneasily in her seat, remembering the emotions and mindset she tapped into before the cameras rolled for the scene. The bath at Harrenhal Brienne shared with Jaime was told from his POV. She didn’t have any dialogue in the beginning, which didn’t make acting easier. Conveying emotions only through the face and the body was always a tough process. Having to think that her character was naked in a bath, watched over by the guards that had salivated over raping her, was like plunging in a black ocean of indeterminate depth. She hugged herself, catching the faint, lingering scent of Nikolaj’s cologne from the sweater she was wearing. Curled up on the couch, she watched as the camera panned to him.

_“Not so hard or you’ll scrub the skin off.”_

She loved this scene. Posing nude for Polly a few years back was nothing to stripping in front of a group of people, mostly men, and having to perform. She was proud for having agreed to that shoot when she was younger but these days, she was more protective of what she gave the public access to. Her contract with the show came with a nudity clause, for her own peace of mind, but she was still not very comfortable—not as comfortable as Nik was, who viewed full frontal nudity as part of the job. He smirked whenever her pasties floated in the water, causing the director to call cut several times. He wore no sock. Rather he was out and proud, his gorgeous cock nearly rivaling the rest of his physical beauty.

Watching Nik slur through Jaime’s speech about his reasons for killing the Mad King, she couldn’t help but riveted by his performance. She had to school her face in an expression of disdain, before melting over to horror and shock when it was preferable to sit back and applaud. His performance had been so good and she had secretly believed he would be nominated for an Emmy. His talent was so admirable and as a person, she still found him intimidating back then although they were  good friends at this point.

She held her breath as Nik shot to his feet in the bath, delirious from his character’s fever and pain. She watched herself scramble to her feet to catch him. She giggled under the collar of the sweater because the scene took numerous takes. At one point, she completely failed to catch Nik and he ended up plunging straight in the pool. She had to pull him out and he coughed violently against her, wheezing and gasping against her breasts as his nails dug in her shoulders. They had to cut the shoot for a while because of his coughing fit and the make-up had rubbed off on him to her.

She took the remote and hit the pause button, staring at herself on TV cradling him in her arms. She sighed and picked up her phone again. _Still nothing from Nik._

A month had passed since they declared their feelings for each other in her hotel room and fucked for the first time. She had to practically drag him to the pub to meet up with Rory and Iain. As they drank, Nikolaj would catch her eye across the table, tilt his head slightly, suggestively. Thank goodness that people would think she was red from the alcohol. Though she was sure about her feelings, she wasn’t ready yet to give him a kiss in front of everyone.

Still, the first couple of weeks was exciting. With his character dead, Nikolaj shouldn’t be on the set anymore. But they still had three episodes to shoot and to make sure no one sniffed out such a massive spoiler, it was arranged that he would still fly to Belfast a couple of times a week, staying in the same hotel as the cast and leaving with them too to go to the location. It should make things easier but if anything, Gwendoline found it quite difficult to pretend that they remained merely friends. She wanted a relationship where they didn’t have to sneak in each other’s rooms, or when they kept their backs to the camera while talking between takes. She wanted to smile shyly at Nikolaj when Kristofer would tease her about certain sounds coming from her room. Wanted to say that the reason for those cries was because Nikolaj Coster-Waldau fucked her like the almighty sex god that he was.

These days she could fantasize about exchanging that kind of look while being teased. She had been so anxious at the beginning.

Shortly after their little party at the pub with Rory and Iain, they snuck back in her room. Kisses flavored with tequila (hers) and wine (his) were shared as they spun in a shaky dance towards the bed. Instead she ended up on a console table against the wall. They laughed and gasped as they tried to take off their clothes, but buttons proved too complicated. Nikolaj pulled off one of her shoes, dragged her pants and panties far enough for her to free one leg then spread her open. She was still wet from their first fucking and getting wetter at the anticipation of his cock stretching her wide again. He gave her is tongue, wet and firm, fucking her cunt until she was a screaming wreck.

During breakfast the following day, Rory teased her about her ‘bar takeaway.’ Nikolaj was sitting beside her, glaring miserably at his gourmet protein shake. Iain was quick to pile on, playfully nudging her at the ankle while pressing her to more about the ‘takeaway.’ Between being a little hungover and still a little confused about what had happened, Gwendoline was simply in no condition to banter back and just muttered at them to shut up. Yet she was sweating under her clothes. _Then_ Kristofer joined them, having just arrived from the airport. Apparently _Rory_ had texted him about what he overheard and he wanted to the dirty details.

“We gotta meet the son of a bitch,” he told Gwen, grinning at her.

“Please, why’d you want to?” Nikolaj suddenly spoke up, pushing away his gourmet shake and helping himself to some of the bacon from Rory’s plate. He looked bored. “Obviously, and Gwen, honey, I’m speaking as a friend here,” he said, patting her on the shoulder. “But if the guy is just gonna fuck you, I won’t be interested to meet him. If he’s decent, then all right.” He shrugged at everyone and said pointedly, “That’s when we’d like to meet him.”

Gwen buried her sigh of relief in a sip of coffee. “There was no takeaway,” she told Rory firmly. “That was me working out.”

It was bullshit but the guys realized she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. With the subject over, they wisely shut up. Under the table, Nikolaj brushed the back of his hand against hers and she shivered from the gentle scratch of his hairs.

 He was in and out of Northern Island due to his promotions for Domino, the comic cons in other parts of the world, and meeting with officials with UNDP. Though they would only have a day together, sometimes even shorter than twenty-four hours, he would fly to Northern Island or they met in her London flat. The harsh winter limited their dating options, which was okay. Nothing could ruin a relationship between people like them more than being sniffed out and stalked by paparazzi.

The last time they were together was just the previous weekend. She was in Paris for fashion week. Normally, this excited her. She adored clothes and accessories, enjoyed meeting the people behind them. Nikolaj was the exact opposite—not that he could never appreciate details like stitching or fabric but he had no problem picking a t-shirt off the floor, sniffing it first before deciding it wasn’t too used to not wear again. It was gross, but it made her laugh.

She didn’t realize how much time they had managed to spend together until she was in Paris, alone and bored out of her mind. The champagne enjoyed at the end of the shows tasted bitter. The hors’ d’oeuvres dry and hard. The conversation seemed to float around her and left her discombobulated when listening. Paris no longer smelled of bread, but was wet, stank of fish and unbelievably, cheese gone bad. Unfortunately, she wasn’t off to Belfast right away. There was a meeting with her agent in London the next day still.

As soon as she was back in her hotel, she locked the door and groaned. The show had begun late and the after-party felt like _forever_ though she had stayed for only thirty minutes.  She kicked off her shoes, flung off her coat and checked her phone for messages. Two missed calls. Five messages. _All from Nikolaj._

She quickly pressed redial. He answered on the second ring. “Hi. Are you back?”

“No. I’m still in Paris.” She sighed and sat heavily at the foot of the bed.

He chuckled. “People usually sound a lot happier when saying that.”

“Can’t help it. I miss you,” she admitted.

A pause.

_Shit._

“Still at the party?” He asked.

“No. I’m in my room.”

“Really.”

She rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not. I’m in the fucking catacombs.”

“Hmm. Well, I must be in one too. I know the French can be fancy but honestly, pink carpets in the catacombs? A bit much, won’t you say?”

Gwen was about to answer when she remembered. _The hallway had a pink carpet._

“Where are you?” She asked, staring at the door in disbelief.

“Open the door, Gwen.”

They had seven wonderful hours together. They fucked and cuddled, fucked again. Nikolaj had her wear his shirt, white with pale gray pinstripes. He was leaving on an earlier flight, this time to a comic con in the Middle East. She kissed him and held him, rubbing her face against the shirt he had traded for her skin, her breasts. It hurt to watch him leave. It had since the morning after their first time, when he had to return to his room and change clothes. She kept her face averted from him, finding it harder to breathe as his departing footsteps softened and her scent on his shirt faded away.

Since then it had been phone calls and text messages. He sent her a photo of him getting ready for the comic con while she was still asleep. _Can’t wait for Belfast._ She hugged her pillow and took a photo of the empty side of her bed. _Happy for anywhere with you._ She got out of bed, not expecting him to reply for a while when her phone beeped. It was him. _I miss you._

She had her meeting with the agent, went to the airport and now here she was, back in the hotel and alone. Lena texted her about meeting up with the other cast members in their favorite pub but she passed. The best distraction was to throw on some clothes and drink and dance the night away. It was just that, a lot of things that used to be fun took a lot of effort now. It was disorienting. She knew the reason was Nikolaj but what was it about him that made everything so worthwhile? Even something as mundane as arguing over who had bigger feet felt _important._

She texted him when she left London and upon arriving at Belfast. Thinking he was in some post-comic con event or packing, she didn’t expect a reply from him. Her agent called, pressing her to look at a bunch of scripts that will be FedExed to her. Except for a couple of small film projects, there wasn’t much work after the final season of the show. If Star Wars asked her back, she wondered if she could make some demands now. Like more lines. An actual storyline for her character.

She wandered around outside the hotel, covered in a cap and a bulky coat, heavy boots. She stopped at a convenience store for some junk food and a fruity drink that claimed to be loaded with vitamins. Found herself in another shop and got the Blu-Ray edition of the show’s third season. By the time she returned to the hotel, there was still nothing from Nikolaj. No message, no missed phone call or Face Time. Nothing. He should be arriving tonight but maybe something went wrong with his flight?

More than an hour had passed since she messaged him again. She hated being that kind of. . .girlfriend. She was, wasn’t she? But it wasn’t like she expected him to keep her updated at every hour. _Jesus Christ._ Just a message saying his flight was delayed or anything so she knew he was all right. 

She sighed loudly and determinedly turned her attention back to the screen. The scene was now of Brienne and Jaime having dinner with Roose Bolton. Another scene she enjoyed. Michael was another actor she admired. He was soft-spoken like his character in real-life, but a lot more relaxed and yes, definitely _not evil_.

The camera closed in on Jaime covering Brienne’s hand. She stared at her empty hand, remembering again the morning the guys were teasing her over breakfast and Nikolaj touched her there secretly. In Paris where she kept herself turned away, refusing to be cajoled into looking back at him, ignoring his whispers to give him her blue eyes. Nik trailed kisses up and down her arm, her wrist, before turning her palm up and kissing her deeply there. Then he left.

Gwendoline ran her hand down the sweater, her hand ghosting over the slight curves of her body where Nikolaj’s would be firm planes and defined muscles.

She closed her eyes.

Her phone rang. Jumping, she grabbed it. “Nikolaj,” she breathed.

“Hi.” He said.

She waited for him to say more.

“Where are you?”

“Hotel.” She gave him her room number.

Another pause.

“Are—are you still there?”

“We’re neighbors. I’m coming over.”

She hung up and rushed to the door. As soon as it was thrown open, she was in Nikolaj’s arms.

“I’ve been texting and calling,” she said apologetically in between kissing him on the cheek, on the lips. She pulled him inside and closed the door. “Sorry I was a nag.”

“No. Actually, I have to apologize.” Nikolaj took her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the mouth. His lips were cool, telling her he just came from outside. His clothes felt like ice against her warm body.

“What for?” She asked as they sat down on the couch.

Nikolaj took off his coat and cap. He glanced at the screen and saw himself racing around Harrenhal looking for her. A strange look came over his face. Knowing he thought her weird, she hastily turned off the TV.

Then he gave her a smile, albeit a tired one. His hair, she noticed, tend to get darker in winter. The beard was trimmed but thick. He looked he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep and she felt guilty again for disturbing him when he could have been sleeping in the plane.

He surprised her by taking her hand and kissing it. His blue eyes raked her appreciatively. “My sweater looks fucking better on you, Gwen.”

She blushed and looked at their joined hands. “Thanks. Can I get you something?”

He shook his head. “No. Just be with me. And I have to plea for your forgiveness.”

“Nikolaj, there’s nothing for me to forgive,” she said, sitting close to him and putting her legs up on the coffee table. She smiled as he kept holding her hand while pulling off his boots with the other. Then his feet rested next to hers, crossed at the ankle.

“Yes, there is,” he insisted. He looked at her face then kissed her on the hand again. “Hmm. Smells like snow and you. It’s fantastic.”

“What is it that you want to talk about?” She asked curiously, her breath unsteady as he kissed every one of her fingers reverently.

Nikolaj pressed a final kiss on her pinkie then lowered her hand. Though his eyes were a little droopy from lack of sleep, his gaze was clear and searching. “I’ve been having a shit time without you.”

She was about to second him when he continued, “So. . .I’ve been thinking.”

Not knowing where he might be going with this, she gulped. “What, exactly?”

Her reaction was not lost on him. He kissed her hand again. “Just hear me out, okay? It’s fucking insane but I’ve been thinking how miserable it is to be without you. You don’t have to give an answer right away, Gwen. I promise. But at least. . .would you consider it?”

“Of course.”

“I think we should move in together.”

Her jaw dropped open.

“I know, I know. We’ve only been together for a month. Maybe it’s too drastic a move. But I’d like for us to be closer geographically. So. . .how do you feel about me moving to London?”

“H-Hold on,” she said, lifting her hand. Nikolaj quickly got quiet.

This was not what she expected at all. Moving in together, let alone being in the same time zones had not crossed her mind at all. Nikolaj stared at her, hope and dread on his handsome face but his grip on her hand (he was still holding her!) was sure. This was where she looked, hers bigger but more delicate, wrapped in his that was the color of light gold.

Being alone didn’t make her miserable. It was Nik’s absence. He was the vital ingredient that flavored life. Things were not necessarily easier with him at her side. Being with him made everything so worth doing. Just knowing he was there gave the push to make the trouble for those.

“I know we should talk more about this, Gwen. I don’t know how you feel but I thought you should know mine. It’s. . .what’s nuts is _being apart_. Being in this place where we know where we are with each other but we’re not. . .with each other. It’s hell. It’s only been a month and I can’t have another month of just being with you for seven hours. I want to wake up with you,” he said, cradling her cheek so she raised her head from their hands to look at him. “I want knowing that on the same night I’ll be sleeping with you. I want to see you over breakfast in my clothes. Or me in your clothes. Like I said, we don’t have to move in together. I’m fine if you’re not there. But I need to be at least in the same city as you.”

“Nikolaj. . .” She hoped she said it right. She felt as if she were skating on thin ice yet strangely exhilarated too. “I’ve been in hell without you too. I—I don’t like it. There’s something. . .it’s difficult not being with you. Not that I’m zapped or just without drive but it’s just difficult. I miss you so much and hate it every time you have to go.”

“Don’t I know it. You won’t even look at me.”

“I’m sorry. But it’s so hard,’ she confessed. “It hurts.”

“So, what do you think?”

“I’d love to have you. . .with me.” She said. “But are you sure? Why aren’t you asking me to living with you in Copenhagen?”

“Because London is where work is. For both of us. But seriously? If I’d asked. . .you?” He laughed and she glared at him. Seeing this, he suddenly tackled her down to the couch and she felt herself smile. “You’ll love it there, Gwen. You might be considered a midget by some, for a change.” She playfully slapped him as he continued, “But it’s not where the work is. That’s why I didn’t ask you about moving there.”

“When you live with me—”

“Am I?” he asked, licking her upper lip. She licked him back gently.

“Didn’t you just ask?”

“You’re distracting.” As he spoke, he pressed himself against her and she turned all mushy at the feel of his erection between them.

“Oh, it’s me, now, is it?”

“Fucking yeah, Gwen.”

A slight pull at his collar and they were kissing again, lips brushing gently at first. Then Gwendoline tugged at Nikolaj’s lip between her teeth, flattening his body right on top of her. A long leg wrapped around his hip. They chased the next breath and the next, briefly looking at each other before kissing again, as if they had only just realized they were together at last and had to make the remaining time count. Or perhaps, each kiss was a fight to be together longer, to stretch and challenge the passage of time.

“Live with me,” she whispered. “We are where we are because we waited for so long. I—I can’t wait anymore, Nikolaj. Please?”

They have been friends for years. Great friends at that. Through the last seven years, they dated other people and ended things with them. Their friendship remained, growing stronger, getting more intimate.

“I don’t want to wait either,” he told her. “And yes to living with you.”

She hugged him then, still in a state of disbelief over what just happened. Call it pure insanity to be living together after a month of. . .what? They hadn’t exactly dated. But there were lots of talks. Talks of the kind neither of them had with anyone. Talks of a depth that can only be reached after knowing and trusting someone for a long time. While she would never turn down the opportunity to wear couture for a night out, the prospect of being in pajamas for the weekend with Nik gave it stiff competition.

“Take me to bed,” he said, kissing her neck.

So they left the sofa, arms around each other. With the bed between them, they started undressing. Gwendoline had fewer clothes because she was indoors, and was soon rid of them. She climbed up on the bed, lying on her side with a hand under her chin and her leg curved. Nikolaj smirked as he wrestled with zippers, buttons and snaps before he was tossing his boxer briefs toward her. She shrieked and rolled out of the way and he jumped in, their bodies bouncing as he hugged her.

She turned, then, giving her his lips as her hands eagerly roamed his body. The differences with their bodies excited and enticed her. With kisses, she conveyed her appreciation over the work he put in keeping his muscles tight and firm, his stomach flat and flab-free. Her legs listlessly moving between his, her toes trailing a seductive path up his calf that made him groan against her tongue, showed her love for his hair-roughened skin where she was smooth and soft.

Nikolaj enjoyed their differences too because his hand was quick to settle on her cunt, petting the moist pale hairs, probing past the silk folds. He pinned her flat on the bed with his body, his kisses, mouth devouring her lips until they swelled to nearly twice their size. Kisses mapped the freckles around her neck, her collarbones. He kept his hand on her cunt, fingers thrusting the drenched channel as his kisses delivered one devastating blow after the next on parts of her that awakened her as if from a long sleep. Her nipples stood hard and tight, waiting for the kisses he denied her as kissed around her breasts, the sensitive underside, her shoulder, under the arm. She called his name, begged, arching toward him, her legs falling wider open.

“Please,” she begged, hands on his hard shoulders, grabbing so she could kiss him on the lips again. A glimpse of his blue eyes and his mouth was on her, slightly tasting of her sweat. As their tongues sparred, his fingers left her cunt and she cried out in protest, ripping her mouth away from him to see her cunt bereft.

“Don’t stop fucking me like that,” she pleaded huskily as he looked at her. “Nikolaj, don’t stop. Please, don’t.”

“Nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants,” he teased her as she took his hand and put it back on her cunt. He groaned against her tongue. “And takes it.”

The rough hairs of his chest scratched and pulled at her sensitive nipples, causing her cunt to spill on his palm, his wrist. They gasped and her hips moved, matching the rhythm of his thrusting fingers. Her head felt hot and heavy and it was almost a relief when he pulled away so she could breathe. It was then that his mouth took one of nipples at last, grazing it with his teeth to draw another cry, sucking hard it hard so—

_“I love you so much, Nikolaj.”_

She wanted to fucking kick herself as soon as she said it. Nikolaj, however, kept fucking her cunt with his fingers, feasting on her nipples. Did he even realize she wasn’t moving? Wasn’t breathing? Her eyes were wide, not from the obscene sounds of his kisses on her breasts, or his fingers notched deep in her cunt. He. . . _he hadn’t heard her_.

He was kissing her harder, it felt. Making a meal out of her nipples, more like, with his growls now lacing his open-mouthed kisses, and his knee nudging her legs farther apart to fuck her six ways to Sunday with his fingers.

There was no stopping her from moaning in pleasure as she came apart. Nikolaj captured her mouth, then, kissing her with a tenderness that almost made her cry if not for what she had just said. Of all the things she could say! Orgasm gave her relief but she couldn’t really relish it now because she didn’t know whether to be pleased he hadn’t overheard or he had and. . .was ignoring it.

Yet she kissed him back and frowned when he pulled away to get condoms from the nightstand. Too late did she remember something she should have mentioned to him—something that they should have talked about _first_ before the subject of London. Damn it to hell, being without Nikolaj also fucked up with her brain!

“Gwen?” There it was. Nikolaj sounded uncertain. “Fuck, don’t kill me but I thought you had condoms. I don’t have any.”

She threw her hands to her face. _“Shit.”_

“What’s wrong?”

She dropped her hands from her face and looked at him. It should be funny because Nikolaj looked close to tears and was massively erect. Seriously. His cock could pass off as a third leg. Except that there nothing funny about what she had to say. Nor about what the three words she shouldn’t have said. _Yet._

“Let’s. . .let’s do this first, okay?” She said, sitting up on the bed and gesturing at his cock. She lowered her head towards it. She had no idea how she felt now but one thing she needed was to be with Nikolaj. _In every way possible._

Understanding her intention, Nikolaj began to protest, “Gwen, I want to fuck— _God._ ”

His groan was a filthier sound than his kisses on her breasts or his fingers fucking her cunt. Her mouth wrapped soft and tightly around plump cockhead, tongue tracing its smooth surface, licking the moisture from the tip. He smelled faintly of sweat, and of that dark, somewhat earthy note that was the essence of Nikolaj.

As he groaned and smoothed her hair away from her face, her head moved lower on his cock. The salt and musk of him made her head spin, her cunt to swell again. But this was not about her anymore, but Nikolaj. His pleasure was her greatest pleasure.

She alternated the strong, hungry suctions of her mouth with kisses and licks lavished on his cock. She tongued the very sensitive underside between his cock and balls, kissed the beautiful thick veins trailing down this warm pillar of flesh. She looked at him and saw his intent look on her so she opened her mouth wide, giving him a glimpse of her pink tongue before taking the entire length of his cock inside her in a single swoop.

Up and down her head went, hands twisting like so on his cock as he gasped and groaned above her. His entire body stiffened and she knew he was close. Her name was a strangled, broken sound from his throat, then the warning that he was so fucking close. She slowed the ascent of her mouth from his cock until he popped out wetly. Then she cupped him around the nape to kiss him on the mouth while her other hand steadily guided him towards release. Their kisses deepened as he spilled in her palm, splashed her stomach, her thigh. He grabbed her, crushed her mouth.

When the last drop of him hit her, she turned to look at the wet mess on the bed, their bodies. She gave him another kiss on the mouth before lowering her head between his thighs again. This time she licked him clean.

A while later, she got up nude from the bed to get a drink of water. Nikolaj drew the blanket toward his waist and watched her studiously remove the protective cap from the bottle before taking a sip. She blushed, feeling his assessing and lustful gaze on her. Then with the same seriousness, she returned the cap on the bottle.

“Are we not going to talk about what just happened?”

She risked looking at him. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“Gwen, come on. Come here.” He patted the space next to him.

“I think it’s better if I stay here.”

“Suit yourself. It’s been three days since I last saw you naked.” He drawled.

She scowled and leaped back into bed, drawing the blanket high on her breasts. Nikolaj turned on his side to face her.

“I heard what you said,” he said carefully.

She remained tensed. “A-And?”

“What do you expect me to do? Ignore it? Stop taking you when you said it?” He demanded, sounding a little annoyed. “I don’t get why you’re angry. You shouldn’t be. I’m not.”

“And why not?” She said archly. “You are seriously not being that cool. It’s an act. You’re freaking out inside. The next thing I know, you’ll come up with some lame excuse about a ‘thing’ you have to do, run back to your room and never talk to me again.”

“That’s not fair,’ his voice was quiet. “I thought you of all people would know me best, Gwen.”

“I’m so sorry. Shit.” She bit her lip. “Look, it’s just that. . .I—I want you to know. What I said? It wasn’t. . .it wasn’t in the heat of the moment.” Her eyes were still panicked but determined as they gazed at him. “I want you to know that when I said it in the moment I did, that I meant it. I could have said it another time but. . .I’m not taking it back, Nikolaj. I—I love you. Which brings me to another matter we should have talked about first.”

Seeing that she looked troubled, even worried, he sat up. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “We don’t have condoms,” she began, “because. . .because I went to the doctor and started taking the pill. I was going to ask when you returned—today—if you’re ready for the next step. You asking me to move in together told me you are but you really have to know this first. And I would understand if you want to slow things down. We’ve only been together a month, Nikolaj.”

“But we’ve known each other for a long time. We’re great friends.”

She took his hand and this time kissed it. He gave a small smile.

“I’ve been taking the Pill in the last couple of days. The—the reason there are no condoms is. . I wanted to ask if you’re okay. . .not wearing one anymore.” She gripped his hand and stared at him. “I—I should have told you first.”

Nikolaj stared at their joined hands then back at her. “Are you asking me to be monogamous?”

She nodded.

“Do you know how cute you look all anxious?” He suddenly teased her.

“Shut up. Are you alright with it?”

“Why won’t I be okay? Gwen, we’ve been friends for a long time but we certainly took our time getting to where we are now.” He frowned. “So much wasted time. I don’t want to slow things down.” There was a stubborn edge in his voice. “We’re fine at this pace. Moving in together. Not wearing condoms to fuck. “ He took her hand to pull her close to him. “Besides,” he added, brushing her hair away from her face as he hugged her. She sniffled a little as she settled in the protective circle of his arms, his heat beating strong against her breasts. “It’s not everyday that someone I love would be open and so fucking brave asking me to commit to her. Why would I say no that?”

Gwendoline was about to kiss him when she realized something. “What did you just say?”

He tweaked her nose, his eyes sparkling. “I love you, Gwendoline Christie.”

She put her chin on his chest, robbed of words as her heart swelled.

“I should have said that on the first night,” he said.

She shook her head, smiling. “I think we’re doing well catching up, aren’t we?”

As she shifted sensuously against him, a familiar hardness pressed against her stomach. Her glance between their bodies was coy as he stroked her cheek, her shoulder, her back. When she looked back at him, he drew her close, placing her above. They kissed.

It was furious yet searching, desperate and sure. Nikolaj turned so she was under him, blinking up at his tousled hair, the twinkle in his eyes. She caressed the thick beard obscuring his beautiful jawline yet giving his chiseled looks a stronger, more striking impact. Then he suddenly grabbed her wrist, took the other and placed them over her head. Her spine forced in an arch, her breasts were offered right to his mouth.

She didn’t struggle from his hand locked around her wrists while helping himself to her nipples still puckered from his kisses. Long, languid slides of his tongue alternated with flaying flicks that made her squirm and whine his name. A soft laugh warmed the reddened nubs before his mouth wrapped around one and tugged at it hungrily. Her head turned left and right swiftly, her feet rubbed against the sheets still damp from his semen as fever raced through her body.

Eventually, his hand slipped from her wrists and his lips traveled to other places of her body. Tongue dipping in her navel. Tongue on her ribs, a kiss, then another, a nip on the sensitive side of her breast before trailing down her stomach again. He gently bit on the protruding jut of her hip bone before sucking it gently. She panted his name again, her hands, now free, burying in his hair, settling on the hard planes of the back of his shoulders. She watched through half-closed eyes as he kissed up and down her legs before dropping another one on her belly button. Then he was stretched fully over her, grabbing at her leg to hook it high on his hip, his mouth returning to her lips, tongue prodding, coaxing it to open and let him in.

And she let him in, tilting her head for his tongue to sink deep in her mouth, tangle with her tongue. Her hand at the back of his head, the other on his nape, giving the softest push so he would fill her. She felt on fire as his chest hairs raked her tender nipples, spread her legs even wider so his cock, so wonderfully hard, could settle between the folds and tease her clit.

Nikolaj was a storm she could barely hold in her arms but had settled in her life, destroying her walls with kisses and his heart. He was no intruder. He happened, maybe because he must or he had to. There was no way of knowing. Only that she loved him and he loved her. It was the only truth she needed.

“Fuck me now,” she panted against his half-parted lips, trying to reach for his cock. “I love you. I love you so much, Nikolaj.”

He kissed her again, groaning as her fingers found him. But he suddenly stilled her hand from guiding him inside her.

“Hold on, sweetheart.” He kissed her on the forehead before dragging one of her legs over his shoulder.

“ _Please,”_ she begged.

She whined in frustration and also desire as he took his cock and pushed it between the folds of her cunt, sliding its long length right between them. Her legs weakened from every brush and drag of his cock up and down her clit, causing it to stiffen to the point that her vision was beginning to darken and her chest tight. Dear Lord, the feel of him, _bare_ , just _like this,_ could be her end.

There was no sweeter death but not now. Not for another sixty years, if possible.

Nikolaj dragged and circled his tip on her clit, the pre-cum mixing with the sweet ocean slowly pouring out of her. She scratched at his arm, his shoulder, whining again. He suddenly bent and took her mouth, kissing her with bruising force.

“Don’t forget I love you,” he hissed before slamming his cock inside her in a single thrust.

Jesus. “ _Nikolaj._ ”

They stared at each other wordlessly, startled by the feeling of an intimacy, of trust, that neither had before. Blue eyes bored hard into each other, their dark pools reflecting faces softened and touched by a love that only now they could speak of.

Gwendoline let out a sigh, causing a ripple through her body that dragged a moan from Nikolaj. His head fell back, baring his beautiful throat, the bob of his Adam’s Apple. Then he hunched forward, stared hungrily at her and pulled back.

Then punched hard back in her cunt.

_“Nikolaj.”_

He hauled both of her legs toward his shoulders. His cock plunged deeper inside her. She moaned.

He clung to her legs, lunging deeply into her, as to make them into one whole. She thrust back, rolling her hips, putting her arms by her ears as she abandoned herself to the spell his cock and her cunt were casting together. It was a languid but rough fuck, punctuated with cries, softened by kisses, appetites whetted repeatedly with licks and slides of sweat-slick skin. She squeezed at his cock with all her might, the veins of her neck straining under the pale flesh as he growled and pounded into her, the muscles on his shoulders, his back, bunching, veins thick like ropes. She felt herself being turned inside-out, right-side-out, his kisses her anchor.

Her cry was a victorious sound, of one who was conquered and had also conquered. He was quick to follow, shouting her name to the ceiling and falling onto her to thrust in her cunt a few more times. She held him, taking his mouth, sucking his lip, his tongue through his release. As it ebbed away, his movements slowed, along with his kiss. Nikolaj was reduced to just panting against her mouth as he collapsed limply on top of her.

They held each other for a moment, breathing as one, her legs slowly going numb from their extremely high position. She blushed as Nikolaj turned to kiss her calf before rolling to his side of the bed. He watched her take the blanket and cover them both. He slipped a hand under her knee, dragged her leg so it rested on his thigh. She snuggled close, warmed by his embrace, him.

“So that’s how you feel like,” he murmured, kissing her tiredly on the throat, her chin, then her lips.

She blushed. “Hmm. Hope I wasn’t too disappointing.”

_“Never.”_

He pulled her close until it was next to impossible to tell where she began and he ended. Her lips moved against his cheek as she spoke. “Iain is next door. He heard us for sure.”

“Does it bother you?”

She shook her head. “But—”

“But?” he pressed.

“Are we ready?” She asked. “I want you in my life, Nikolaj. But are we ready with what comes after?”

She was not famous like him, despite being in Star Wars. But she would like to know how it was to kiss him and hold his hand without worrying about paparazzi. To look in his eyes without heavy, black sunglasses when they were out. Cameras were part of their job. But when it didn’t involve a paycheck, makeup and an imaginary character, they were not.

They should be not. But that was never happening.

“Will you be at my side?” He asked her. “Because that’s the only way I can be ready, Gwen.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Neither am I.”

She started to say she loved him again when a firm, undeniable rapping sound came from right behind the headboard. Nikolaj laughed as she froze while waiting for it to finish.

_“Shit.”_

“Look,” he said, kissing her comfortingly around the face again before taking a soft bite of her lower lip. “We’ll do the best we can. Try not to call attention to ourselves.  You can always tell the guys you had another ‘takeaway.’”

She sighed. “That means keeping each other a secret.”

“For now, Gwen. But I’m ready for whatever you decide. If you want us to public, I’m ready. I’m here. I love you.”

“I love you too. Still. . .?”

“Yes?”

She threw her arms around him and kissed him hard on the mouth. “Can’t I keep you to myself just for a while longer, Nikolaj?”

“As you wish,” he said, kissing her back. “Truth be told, I want us to in this bubble for as long as possible. Now, that the matter is settled, there’s another one.”

“Tell me.” She loved being in his arms and holding him too. Nikolaj hauled her closer. He was a cuddler too.

“When do I move in?”

She put her lips next to his ear and gave him the answer. He burst out laughing for surely it had to be a joke. But she was grinning and shaking her head.

"Come here, you," he said, pulling her for another kiss that spoke of countless tomorrows beginning today. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Polly is Polly Borland, the photographer who took a series of photos of Gwendoline Christie. It was called Bunny.


End file.
